Specials

Being a great eater takes discipline. For example, you need to be able to summon the reserve to go back for that third plate of Indian buffet even though you feel like you have a small alien living in your stomach after you’ve spent the last 45 minutes stuffing your face with Tandoori chicken, Aloo Gobi and Saag Paneer. After all, you’ve already slapped down the 11.95, and what’s the point of getting all you can eat if you aren’t going to make yourself invalid for the rest of the day.

So if the pain’s too much for you, focus. Remember you’re not in it to feel good, you’re in it to dominate. So stand up, hobble back over to those buffet trays and grab yourself some more delicious spicy goodness. Don’t forget to get extra Raita and mango chutney. After you finish, you’ll feel the satisfaction of knowing you’ve done all you can to be a Great Eater. And that’s why you’re here on this Earth. That’s why we’re all here.